The Fallen Star: Chapter 20TWENTY
This one has it all. A classic riddle (choice between three possible tunnels), exciting action (Next to zombies, a huge unstoppable horde of little, or not so little critters is my most gruesome monstrous threat), some cool magic and terrible tragedy. It's sad ofcourse, but I feared for a while now, the guy was doomed.
Still sad to see him go, though.
As for Putoko, he's either possessed or it's not him at all, but a demon in disguise. In any case, he is not the messiah, he is a very naughty boy!
I did notice a few minor spelling errors. I'm just listing them here, for your information:
sneak up of them -> sneak up on them?
let out a lengthy sign -> let out a lengthy sigh?
Oh, yes. Just another minor remark. I'm not sure I would describe Kantou as 'panicked' when they first met her. Sure, she was agitated and worried. Who wouldn't be after a fight with a demon? But not really panicked.
Anyway, overall another great chapter, which I enjoyed a lot.
It's sad that Lakor had to go. In the first draft he was killed off for a completely different reason, and not a very good one at that. Like I mentioned before, because I have so much written I couldn't change the beginning novel too much. So.. Lakor had to get kicked out.
Oh, and thanks for the spelling errors, those have been changed
As for Kantou, I've changed panicked to unnerved. You're right, she's not panicked really, but she still is a little flustered. A lot of things happened to her right before she bumped into Rantil in Liaport. She's got a lot going on
The big question now is.. what will Putoko do next?
It's not long before they reach the Temple!! Ahhh!