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Description
The 4th chapter in this story, which will also be added to Shabazik 's contest concerning the War of the Power. The preview image was made by Arnilo
This project is a cooperation between myself and Arnilo. Arnilo took the lead in writing this one, while I added some filler material, did a few minor fixes and some spelling checks. Arnilo also made the amazing preview image, which you should fave on her own page.
Right here:
:origin()/pre10/8f1b/th/pre/f/2017/052/d/1/girls_just_wanna_have_fun_by_arnilo-dazvp4i.png)
Aiers of course belongs to Shabazik.
This project is a cooperation between myself and Arnilo. Arnilo took the lead in writing this one, while I added some filler material, did a few minor fixes and some spelling checks. Arnilo also made the amazing preview image, which you should fave on her own page.
Right here:
Aiers of course belongs to Shabazik.
© 2017 - 2024 Walt-Marsters
Comments10
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Some R&R often requires the boss to crack the whip. It would seem that Draconians aren't immune to the effects of lounging.
The captain much concerned about being seemingly the only one feeling adventure. Well, cliffs and sea waves provided quite the spectacle for the landlubbers, the giant Trelka included!
Arnillo really 'hit the ball out of the park' with this chapter! The environment was richly described, the natural world was wondrous, the human(oid) world had both grimness and delight. Arnilo has done Kanovs before in her Cyrti stories, but they were interestingly portrayed here in a more protagonist way. Plus, we have Krza who is aggressively friendly, and Tokti who is a completely legitimate and true Nutk who is a trader, not a pirate or horseman raider. But he proved no less interesting for not being a half naked, tattooed warrior.
Again, the coast was unexpected to me, yet makes me want to slap myself for not thinking of it myself. The idea of a stormy Hieyokscream Sea is easy, as the name--screams--it! But the 'Cornish' sort of coast was really cool. The town is no great port, but it is interesting.
There might have been a powerful temptation to put some action such as avoiding enemies or fighting bandits, but the descriptions here and the unknown, made for a memorable chapter!
Errors:
The captain much concerned about being seemingly the only one feeling adventure. Well, cliffs and sea waves provided quite the spectacle for the landlubbers, the giant Trelka included!
Arnillo really 'hit the ball out of the park' with this chapter! The environment was richly described, the natural world was wondrous, the human(oid) world had both grimness and delight. Arnilo has done Kanovs before in her Cyrti stories, but they were interestingly portrayed here in a more protagonist way. Plus, we have Krza who is aggressively friendly, and Tokti who is a completely legitimate and true Nutk who is a trader, not a pirate or horseman raider. But he proved no less interesting for not being a half naked, tattooed warrior.
Again, the coast was unexpected to me, yet makes me want to slap myself for not thinking of it myself. The idea of a stormy Hieyokscream Sea is easy, as the name--screams--it! But the 'Cornish' sort of coast was really cool. The town is no great port, but it is interesting.
There might have been a powerful temptation to put some action such as avoiding enemies or fighting bandits, but the descriptions here and the unknown, made for a memorable chapter!
Errors:
he was having his breathe [breath] squeezed out of his chest. (page 9)
with [a] face that made both Sharana and the Captain cringe. (page 10)
with herself and [the] three warriors they saw in village being its main fighting force. (page 10)
the place were [where] your old boy Draco first set his steps on Hieyoks. (page 11)
Then, I advice [advise] you and your men to go a bit further west. (page 12)